When someone steals your joke and tells it to... →
clairesawyer: If I was a celebrity I would go knocking on doors and be like hello yes it’s me
i put question marks at the end of everything...
an-alaskan-bullworm: ladytimelord: olympicvillage: I don’t know whether to cry or masturbate
buttpower: you never really know someone until you play uno with them and the motherfuckin asshole hits you with a draw four
"I know what you are..." →
smokeporch: ”Your skin is pale white and ice cold, you don’t go out in the sunlight.” ”Say it.” a blogger GIRLS ONLY, jk kinda!
does the internet count as a soul mate
Call me maybe starts playing on the radio
me: oh my god not again
me: I THREW A WISH IN THE WELL DON'T ASK ME I'LL NEVER TELL
january 2012: this will be my year
july 2012: well shit
When someone looks at the amount of food on my...
laughoutloudrightnow: And asks, “Holy shit, how much can you eat?”
me: *likes someone*
me: *thinks i have a chance*
me: *remembers what i look like*